“妈，那都是别人家孩子，你就别多想了！”

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作者：俅俅阅读

分类：悦读发布时间：2021-03-25 09:43:30 368次阅读 每个孩子都有自己的人生使命和属于他的精彩，并不是为了承载父母的希望而来的。 ......

<p><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><p style="margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; text-align: center; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><img src="/uploads/20210325/af6bc94828f87edb06d30e85495cd12a.jpg" data-filename="filename" style="width: 450px;"><br></p><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 1.75em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">题图：来自作者<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></span></section><section data-mpa-template="t" mpa-from-tpl="t" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-align: center; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: 13px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">作者：林世钰，资深媒体人，旅美作家。曾出版《美国岁月：华裔移民口述实录》和《烟雨任平生：高耀洁晚年口述》等书籍。目前旅居美国新泽西州。本文转载自公众号：一苇杭之渡彼岸（ID: linshiyu2005）</span></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" mpa-from-tpl="t" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" mpa-from-tpl="t" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><hr style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.098); transform-origin: 0px 0px 0px; transform: scale(1, 0.5); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section mpa-from-tpl="t" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-size: 14px; min-height: 1em; text-align: left; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">近段日子，美国大学陆续放榜，不经意间，听到谁谁家孩子又考上宾大、哥大、纽大、约翰·霍普金斯大学等名校。晚上吃饭时，忍不住和女儿聊起此事。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></span></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">15 岁的女儿咬了一口鸡腿，用犀利的眼神扫了我一下，同情地说：</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">妈，那都是别人家的孩子，你就别多想啦！</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">然后看着电脑里的日本动漫，发出银铃般的笑声。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">好吧，少想事，多吃菜。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我承认自己确实多想了一点点。作为华人父母，不管承认与否，几乎都有望子成龙、望女成凤的愿望，希望孩子考个名校，读个好专业，找份好工作。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我也不例外。偶尔也梦想着自己和娃她爹驾车送女儿去这些名校中的某一所，然后在教学楼前拍张照片，很凡尔赛地说：嗯，我看耶鲁的教学楼需要翻修一下了。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">但是知女莫如母，我观察了女儿几年后，基本放弃了这种想法。因为女儿自小性格淡然，是“佛系”优秀毕业生，与美国名校欣赏的竞争型风格完全背道而驰。嗯，那就做最好的自己吧，无需和别人比较。老实说，一开始内心还是有隐隐的失望，但最后慢慢说服了自己。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">前几天看了一篇文章，说</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">在所有父母的眼中，自己的孩子一开始都像天才，最后经历了现实的打击才慢慢发现，喔，不过是个普通孩子。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我大笑，确实如此！</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section></section></section><img src="/uploads/20210325/5cdb8ed4d2d2c8e1ea316c1b58d84fcc.jpg" data-filename="filename" style="width: 450px;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; text-align: center; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-size: 12px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">▲</span><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>你虽普通，却是独一无二，我永远爱你。</span></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">女儿小时候说话早，十个月就口齿伶俐，会说“冰箱”、“爷爷”等挺难的词；识字也早，两岁左右就可以自己看绘本，而且活灵活现地把故事复述给姥爷听；三岁上幼儿园，教民族舞和画画的老师都很喜欢她，说她很有舞蹈和绘画天赋；五岁去雅马哈学电子琴，老师独独看上她，让她跟着学钢琴（</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: 14px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">后来她不喜欢，改学古筝了</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">）。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">那时我左看右看，横看竖看，总觉得她的每一寸肌肤和每一根头发都闪着天才的光辉。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">每晚她睡着后，我侧身痴迷地看着她鼓鼓的脸蛋和小树林一样浓密的睫毛，心想：我智商平平，相貌平平，何德何能，上帝竟然赐给我这么一个天才宝宝。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">那个心潮澎湃啊，估计每一个当妈的人都体会过。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">但是慢慢地，我发现她天才的光辉渐渐暗淡了。比如玩滑梯，每逢别的孩子和她抢，她总是让着别人，自己在一旁等，最后没玩上天就黑了；上英语培训班，把自己的书本让给后来的孩子，然后巴巴地等着老师再发；我为小区缺少无障碍设施和物业大声理论，她拉着我的衣袖，怯生生地说：妈妈不要吵架嘛……反正，她从来不与任何人争，那么温柔善良，像一只纯良的小鹿。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">天才的个性怎么着也应该激烈点吧，应该有点领袖风范吧，怎能如此绵软和懦弱呢？我开始有点失望了。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">到美国后，我发现这里的孩子普遍喜欢表现自己，而且性格活泼，与大人说话落落大方。而女儿，依然那么安静地做着自己的事情，一脸的与世无争。每次开家长会，老师都要提到她这一性格特征，说希望她上课回答问题踊跃一些。我也和女儿说过，但发现没有什么质的变化。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">印象最深的是，上小学时，女儿的教科书是往届学生传下来的，书有新有旧。每次老师把书拿到教室，同学们都上去抢新的，唯有女儿悠然自得地坐在座位上，等大家都挑完了，再去拿剩下的最后一本。我看着她带回来的书破破烂烂的，又气又急，问：你为什么不早点去拿新一点的书呢？不到 10 岁的她淡定回答：</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">旧书也是书啊，和新书有什么区别呢？</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">美国是个竞争性很强的国家，家庭和学校都鼓励孩子大胆表现自己，很多高中都有辩论队，课后也有演讲培训班，所以美国孩子大都口才了得，给他一个话题立刻侃侃而谈。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">学校里，最受欢迎是那些性格活泼、喜欢运动、口才绝佳、社交能力很强的孩子，而不是成绩全 A 的书呆子。你看美国的政客开口一套一套的，因为他们从小都受过良好的演讲和辩论训练。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">整个社会环境如此，如果你不喜欢表现自己，那就意味着要成为一个边缘人，肯定要吃亏的。我看着那些活蹦乱跳的美国孩子，再看一眼性格娴静的女儿，心里有点压力。曾经想过把女儿送去上公共演讲培训班，但遭到她的极力反对，只好作罢。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">女儿还是那样，不喜欢竞争，不喜欢表现自己，只是安静地做自己喜欢的事情。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">比如画画，一画就是好几个小时，别人觉得很辛苦，但她乐在其中。她因为心里安静，所以观察细腻，经常会发现别人没有注意到的细节，教过她的几个美术老师都挺喜欢她。</span></section></section></section><img src="/uploads/20210325/b555ed5d12a569d0fe0ca58cb6f0bcaa.jpg" data-filename="filename" style="width: 450px;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; text-align: center; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-size: 12px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">▲</span>女儿画的荷花</span></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">而且她心地善良，对朋友非常好，人缘不错。我记得上小学的时候，她每天都带七八只削好的铅笔到学校。我问她为什么带那么多，她说有同学的铅笔忘了削，所以要多带些分给他们。因为她喜欢帮助别人，所以在班里人缘很好。2014 年我过生日时，她让班里每个同学都在给我的生日贺卡上签名，给了我一个大大的惊喜。<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我渐渐明白，所谓天性，就是上帝给人的不同恩赐。有人生来热烈如火，有人静水流深，有人纯厚如木。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">没有好与不好之分，只是质地的不同，只要放在合适的地方，都会焕发不同的光彩。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">女儿上高中后，我和所有父母一样，为她未来的大学申请开始有点焦虑了。曾经迫切地问她：你的梦想是什么？将来想读什么专业？她从小到大一直在学画画，我以为她会毫不犹豫地回答：艺术！没想到她悠悠来了一句：“随缘。”接着说：妈，我还小呢，人生道路还很长，这么早定方向干嘛？</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">也是。像她这么大的时候，我还在中国南方小城的校园里看三毛的书和梁羽生的武侠小说呢，远方长啥样，未来是什么，一头雾水。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">女儿从小到大，理想一直在变：</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">小学二年级暑假，带她去洛杉矶电影城玩，她觉得驯鸟的姐姐很酷，说长大后要当一个动物饲养员；小学毕业，发现她的梦想变成导演和明星经纪人，因为她那时开始听韩国小鲜肉的歌；初中时，她在美国一个小镇看到本土艺术家设计的文创产品，觉得很美，梦想将来当个设计师；去年，她认识了网球教练美丽的太太，一个 60 多岁的幼儿教师，觉得跟孩子在一起可以永葆青春，于是想当幼儿教师。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">前几天她突然告诉我，妈，我准备选“酒店管理”这门课，听起来很有意思，没准将来会选这个专业呢。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我晕了——这些年大把大把银子撒出去，都是冲着艺术这条路奔的。小姐姐，你这转型也忒大了吧？可转念一想，一个懂艺术的孩子去学酒店管理，没准可以负责酒店装饰呢。而且她中文很好，没准可以把美国的酒店业务拓展到国内。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">于是又自个儿把心里的褶皱轻轻捋平了。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">哎，只能如此，谁叫娃是咱亲生的，打不得，骂不得，弃不得呢？冒火的时候，顶多只能冲她吼两嗓子。声音大了，她会盯着你的眼睛，说：我会打 911 的，然后警察把我带走，你和老爸就再也见不到我啦。气得真想饿她一顿，可是一下到厨房，心头冰雪顿时消融，琢磨着中午是否给她做最爱吃的红烧鸡翅。亲妈就是这么没出息。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section></section></section><img src="/uploads/20210325/29267b025cc107605d33b0c54e7ce8a7.jpg" data-filename="filename" style="width: 450px;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; text-align: center; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-size: 12px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">▲ </span>女儿在后院</span></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我们必须要承认，当父母的多少都有点虚荣心，希望自己的孩子最好是被众星拱的那轮月，如果成不了月亮，至少也得是天上最亮的那颗星。反正，怎么着也得比隔壁张三和单位李四的孩子优秀，不然就觉得脸上无光。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">国人一向喜欢比较，通过比较找到优越感，这种毛病在养育孩子时得到淋漓尽致的体现。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">有时我在想，父母推娃爬藤的动机，有多少是真正为孩子好，又有多少是出于自己的面子之需？</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">估计后者占的比例一点都不比前者小吧。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">其实，真正为孩子好，不是让他走和别人一样的所谓成功的道路，而是</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">帮助他找到自己真正有激情、也愿意付出的那个点，然后发挥他生命的特质，把这个点渲染成绚烂的面。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如果让自己的孩子和别的孩子优秀得一致，大家千人一面，那么生命本来应有的千姿百态的美好，就变成了程序化、模式化的生产流水线。这个世界还有什么意思呢？</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">每个孩子都受造于神，都是神宝贵的产业，他们经由父母来到这个世界，</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">父母只是管家，不是他的主人。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">每个孩子都有自己的人生使命和属于他的精彩，并不是为了承载父母的希望而来的。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">为人父母的，必须要明白这一点：孩子是孩子，你是你，你没有义务为他牺牲一切，他也没有义务完成你的梦想。你们都是独立的个体，做完自己的分内之事，剩下的便是绽放各自的美丽了。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">孩子小的时候，父母可以引导他、帮助他，但不能替代他，更不能把自己的梦想和愿望强加于他。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">前几天闹得沸沸扬扬的郑爽代孕事件，从中可以看到，如果父母把自己的愿望强加给孩子，可能带来的是孩子一时表面上的成功，但给生命留下了致命的破口，千里之堤，溃于蚁穴，接下来的人生可能会面临根本性的溃败。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">不管在中国还是在美国，都有孩子抑郁或者自杀的事件。去年，女儿所在的高中就有一个美国男孩自杀。前几年，也有一个优秀的犹太女孩自杀。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我不确定他们自杀的原因是什么，但可以肯定的一点是，这些孩子当中，不乏自我期许很高的完美主义者。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他们不允许自己有一丁点失败和不完美。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这种完美主义有些是天生的，有些是家庭教育结下的“果”，如果恰如其分，可以让孩子变得优秀；反之，则让孩子变得无比脆弱，承受不了失败。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">其实，很多时候我们要接受自己的不完美，因为这世上根本就没有完美的人。我从小就是个性格散淡的女生，学习永远都是中等偏上，没有尝过“学霸”的滋味，上的大学也非金光闪闪的名校。但我从来不自卑，而且挺享受自己喜欢的事情，比如当记者，摄影，旅行，做口述历史。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">目前为止，对自己的人生还算满意。所以我对女儿从无过高期待，我不要求她成绩全 A，不要求她必须是高中乐队的“首席”长笛手，不要求她参加比赛必须要获奖。我经常告诉她，</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">地上的日子是有限的，生命只是个旅程，你今天所经历的这一切，都是你旅程的一部分，好好享受它就行了。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">去年 12 月，女儿参加了美国一个全国性艺术大赛，三幅作品获得优秀奖。她有点遗憾没有获金奖和银奖。我宽慰她，你第一次参加比赛，而且创作时间那么短，居然一半作品都获奖了，其中两幅还是摄影作品，应该庆祝才对啊。明年早点准备，一定可以获大奖的。她一听，释然了。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section></section></section><img src="/uploads/20210325/f65f053f369d4b0501e20b048b2a43ac.jpg" data-filename="filename" style="width: 450px;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; text-align: center; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-size: 12px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">▲</span><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>2020 年 11 月，女儿拍摄大选后的纽约。</span></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">以一个中年人的眼光回头看，我发现人真的无法筹定自己的脚步，无法预知自己的未来。一切都在神的手里。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我们所能做的，就是控制可以控制的那部分，其余的交给神好了。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">因为除了努力，还有别的因素，比如时势、运气，在人的一生中起到太大的作用了。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">2017 年，我同时做中国留美学生口述史和高耀洁先生口述史两个项目。因为担心高奶奶身体欠佳，所以我二选一，专注高奶奶这个项目。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">等我 2019 年出版完高耀洁口述史，发现中美关系急剧恶化，所有关于美国的书几乎无法在国内出版。随后形势进一步恶化，川普出台了对留学生极其严苛的政策，加上疫情的影响，中国留学市场萎靡不振。我的留美学生口述史更是无法在中国落地了，只能先在美国出版。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">时耶？命耶？</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我由此深深知道，那双“翻手为云，覆手为雨”的手永远藏在生命的隐秘之处，我们无法预知它何时翻动，会给我们带来什么。世情恶衰歇，万事随转烛。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我们能做的，唯有尽人力，听天命，顺服命运的一切安排。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section></section></section><img src="/uploads/20210325/5d9e613dcad832fbb1165f34c2f1dc61.jpg" data-filename="filename" style="width: 450px;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">曾经，我班上成绩不好的一个男生，考上师专读了一年，就辍学去上海做建材生意。当时正值浦东大开发，他和家人挖到了第一桶金，从此生意越做越大。在上海郊区买地，盖了好大一片庄园，公司遍布江苏、山东等地。他的财富积累是个传奇，为我班里很多同学所羡。可是，去年我回国时，听说他因为欠钱，跑路了。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">楼起和楼塌只在一瞬间，而且皆不在我们的掌控之中。所以当父母的，以为凭自己的学识、经验、人脉和财富可以指导孩子的人生，为孩子开一条通天大道，</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">很多时候可能只是自己的不甘心，以及对人生幻象的不自知。</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这个世界变化莫测，我们可以确凿把握的事情实在有限。“人的脚步为耶和华所定，人岂能明白自己的路呢？”</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">当父母的，只要努力做一个内心柔软的好人，一个有正义感的好公民，一个有责任感的好员工，我敢保证，他们的孩子将来不管干什么，走到哪里，一定差不到哪去。因为父母的言传身教，孩子的“本”固住了，横斜出去的树杈一定枝叶繁茂，鸟儿鸣啾。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">对于女儿的未来，我的期许很简单：</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(82, 168, 51); overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">保持善良柔软的天性，尽量不为世俗所染；如果有余力，帮助贫弱的人们；找到真正喜欢并擅长的事情，练就一技之长养活自己；有三五好友，可以一起旅行喝酒看云，分享人生的美好。</span></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">至于其它，则是在人生这段锦上添瑰丽的花了。</span></section></section></section></p><p><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; line-height: 2em; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(84, 84, 84); letter-spacing: 1px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span class="rich_media_meta rich_media_meta_text" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; padding: 0px; display: inline-block; vertical-align: middle; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.298); letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: start;">转载 一苇杭之渡彼岸</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: start;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="rich_media_meta rich_media_meta_nickname" id="profileBt" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; padding: 0px; display: inline-block; vertical-align: middle; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); position: relative; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: start;"><a id="js_name" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; color: rgb(87, 107, 149); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); cursor: pointer;">一土教育</a></span><br></span></section></section></section></p>